the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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