My liver just broke up with me...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So vagazzling was a success
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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