Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
