You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
