In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
