Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
