In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
