So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I want a musical about memes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
