I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
