Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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