his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
