FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
