I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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