Why are handjobs necessary in class?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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