That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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