I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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