She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize