how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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