Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
