pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
