Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You just made me feel so damn special
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
