I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
