he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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