Cold hands, warm shart.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
