Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
