You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
