Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
