Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
