forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
