Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
