but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
