Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
