I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
