God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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