Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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