Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
