After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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