whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
