super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
