Plan B is the new Plan A
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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