I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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