Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
