How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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