I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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