We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
