If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
