Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
