You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
