there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
