nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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