Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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