He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
